So I was reading through Sunday's PostSecrets and there was one about a person that went through chemo and was not able to have kids and how they felt unimportant to the human race now. So It made me wonder would I (or any of you) marry a person that you knew could not have kids if you loved them? Would you stayed married to a person that could not have kids after you just got married (like you found out less then 6 months to a year after you got married)? If you had been trying for a long time like years and found out that they could not? Is it that important to have kids for you?
And to the people that say they would just adopt... well what if you where to poor to adopt? Then would you still stay married to the person?
Ok what if you where the person that was the infertile one? How would you feel? What would you say and do?
I don't know how I would feel personally. I think I would feel like I let them down but I would love my husband first and kids are a secondary thing in a marriage (albeit important in many ways). I still don't know how I feel about adoption. I know I sound like a bigot but I want kids that look like kids I would have. I guess that would also change if I married outside of my heritage and background. There are also other factors like how my husband's family would feel that I 'cheated' them out of grand kids and the family name being passed down. If he was the only male child or the only one that was going to have kids in his family or such. Then there are cultural and religious pressures to deal with as well.
So much to think about. What do you think about it?
On a similar note it always make me wonder when I see those young LDS couples (and others I'm not picking on anyone here ^_^) that have not been married even nine - ten months to a couple years and they already have a kid/s. Do they even really know each other? I want a year or more to know my new husband before I even think about kids. A new husband, a new life, a new living situation, a new house/apt and so very much more and now they already have another new little life to deal with and fit into this new life of theirs. (not that kids are bad so don't think that I'm saying that people just musing out load here) I just think "...first comes love then comes marriage...." and when the times is right and you both know each other as husband/wife, friend, lover and even gotten in whoppers of fight and know how to work through pain and anger and still know that you will always care for the other... and have the time and money and stable environment and only then "....then comes the baby in the baby carriage".
So yeah that is my brain leak for the morning.
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